Jot Note 2013-02-21

Jot Note 2013-02-21

Eleanor Vandervort arrived in Nassir in 1949 and served for 13 years that means she left in 1962.  In an article I read about her she makes the comment, “She realized that fear of death defined life among the Nuer.”  I don’t know when that comment was made, if it was made when she arrived in 1949 that means this population has been living with the fear of death for more than 60 years. If it was made as late as 1962, that is still more than 50 years.  One or two generations? God only knows how many generations before that.

It brings clarity to understanding why people are so afraid. But it also brings more questions about how do we bring hope, how do we model hope, how do we teach hope.  I know that I am only one person and I cannot do it alone.  I can only do it with God.  But how!?  How do I stand in front of these people and ask the questions I really want to ask…

            You have spent your life living in fear of death.  That is something I cannot and never will be able to understand.  I live my life in hope for each new day.  Hope that it will bring new blessings from God.  Hope that one small good thing will happen today. Hope that I will be blessed by your smiles and your laughter. How can we, together do that?  How can we together find one good thing in each day? How can we together learn to celebrate that  and  focus on the good and not fear the unknown?

My next question would be Do you want to pass the living in fear of death on to your children, as it has been passed on to you, or do you want them to live in hope?  How do we together do that?

I would like to say...

Fear is paralyzing.  It makes you not move.  You can’t.  All of your strength and energy goes into being afraid. Fearing the night and what it will bring.  Fearing the hunger and where the food will come from.  Fearing, I don’t know.  I cannot even begin to imagine.

Hope is freeing.  Hope gives you energy.  Hope lets you move.  Hope lets you learn something new. Hope lets you plant food because you will get to eat it and feed your children. Hope is opening yourself up to all of God’s promises.

What can I do?  One person, here alone, do to help you set aside your fear and live in hope?

That is the questions I would like to ask.  That is what I want to know.

God, please help me!  That is all I can pray.  Just help me…

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I have asked questions all over town this week.  What are the biggest needs for the community?  Number one answer is always food.  The reason there is no food is because the flood took it away or because of the “war” between the Murle and the Nuer.  People are afraid to go to the fields because they will die so they don’t go.  They don’t plant and they are hungry.  The people are suffering because of their fear. 

I am in no way discounting their fear.  It is real.  The threats are there.  The men cannot go. They cannot send their women and children.  They will be attacked.  They will be kidnapped.  They will be raped. They will die.    That is the reality they live with.

So, how do we overcome that?  We have to change.  But change will come slowly.  It is showing.  It is building trust.  It is building hope.  And it is hard work.  It is saying we cannot go and work in the fields so we will bring the fields closer and we will try new things.