Having Malaria is like...

Pouring water on a tea bag...Pour on the top and it comes out every hole until it reaches the bottom!

Jot Note 2013-02-21

I sat in a two hour meeting on Human Rights for Women.  It is part of an education campaign being conducted by the UN.  Not one word was translated for me until the end.  I spent most of my time picking out the few words I recognized or understood.

As we neared the end, the leader turned to me and began to translate.  I had heard laughing from the women and was wondering why.

We are talking about Article 14 (I think he said) - Human Rights for Rural Women.  They say - the women - he said, and so began a story...

When it is moving time*, like now, we pack everything up and get the children ready.  We carry it all day long, while we watch the children and take care of them.  At the end of the day, we build the house, we cook the food, we clean the children.  All along the way we carry the beating stick.  If he doesn't like what we do he beats us.  We have to carry the stick he beats us with...


* Moving time is when the people migrate to follow cattle to better grazing grounds or to work their crops...

Jot Note 2013-02-21

Jot Note 2013-02-21

Eleanor Vandervort arrived in Nassir in 1949 and served for 13 years that means she left in 1962.  In an article I read about her she makes the comment, “She realized that fear of death defined life among the Nuer.”  I don’t know when that comment was made, if it was made when she arrived in 1949 that means this population has been living with the fear of death for more than 60 years. If it was made as late as 1962, that is still more than 50 years.  One or two generations? God only knows how many generations before that.

It brings clarity to understanding why people are so afraid. But it also brings more questions about how do we bring hope, how do we model hope, how do we teach hope.  I know that I am only one person and I cannot do it alone.  I can only do it with God.  But how!?  How do I stand in front of these people and ask the questions I really want to ask…

            You have spent your life living in fear of death.  That is something I cannot and never will be able to understand.  I live my life in hope for each new day.  Hope that it will bring new blessings from God.  Hope that one small good thing will happen today. Hope that I will be blessed by your smiles and your laughter. How can we, together do that?  How can we together find one good thing in each day? How can we together learn to celebrate that  and  focus on the good and not fear the unknown?

My next question would be Do you want to pass the living in fear of death on to your children, as it has been passed on to you, or do you want them to live in hope?  How do we together do that?

I would like to say...

Fear is paralyzing.  It makes you not move.  You can’t.  All of your strength and energy goes into being afraid. Fearing the night and what it will bring.  Fearing the hunger and where the food will come from.  Fearing, I don’t know.  I cannot even begin to imagine.

Hope is freeing.  Hope gives you energy.  Hope lets you move.  Hope lets you learn something new. Hope lets you plant food because you will get to eat it and feed your children. Hope is opening yourself up to all of God’s promises.

What can I do?  One person, here alone, do to help you set aside your fear and live in hope?

That is the questions I would like to ask.  That is what I want to know.

God, please help me!  That is all I can pray.  Just help me…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have asked questions all over town this week.  What are the biggest needs for the community?  Number one answer is always food.  The reason there is no food is because the flood took it away or because of the “war” between the Murle and the Nuer.  People are afraid to go to the fields because they will die so they don’t go.  They don’t plant and they are hungry.  The people are suffering because of their fear. 

I am in no way discounting their fear.  It is real.  The threats are there.  The men cannot go. They cannot send their women and children.  They will be attacked.  They will be kidnapped.  They will be raped. They will die.    That is the reality they live with.

So, how do we overcome that?  We have to change.  But change will come slowly.  It is showing.  It is building trust.  It is building hope.  And it is hard work.  It is saying we cannot go and work in the fields so we will bring the fields closer and we will try new things. 

Jot Note 2013-02-19

Hauling water and laundry started the day.  Nothing like doing both of those to get your blood pumping, but is was a little cooler, under 100 at least, so I thought why not...

Where I will use the signs for "teaching" tomorrow.
Resources are limited here, so we do what we can.

Then it was off to language lessons...today we did something a little different and translated the signs for tomorrow's women's group meeting from English to Nuer.  Usually, Elizabeth and I work on my veranda, but since they were already at the church, that is where we went.  I just love the men there.  They make me feel like a two year old surrounded by adoring uncles and grandpa's who clap and laugh and beam from ear to ear when I get it right.  Today it was a real party!

 While visiting at the church I asked two men, what do you see the biggest needs in the community are?  They told me...

(excerpts from a fb conversation)...

I had an interesting conversation with two older men at church today who told me the number one problem here is the war. They used to be rich men with lots of cattle and lots of fields under cultivation and then they were attacked, friends and familiy were killed and they fled to Akobo if they go back to the fields they will be killed

if their women and children go back they will be kidnapped or killed

we don't know what to do so all we can do is sit here

All the people are that way, they live in fear and there is no food to eat.

What can I say.

I just sit here and shake my head reading what you wrote.

Really sad.

I can try to teach the women, and I am doing a good job, but they can't learn becasuse they are too hungry, they are to scared and the are afraid they will have to flee any minute and they will not have their family with them when they do.

And I'm not sure there really is anything they can do until the fighting stops.

I was told earlier this week there is no point in trying to plan for the future, because they have no future.

12:00pm

I know. I couldn't say anything.

They are right. The women come, some are trying, and I can teach, but I cannot overcome those kinds of phsycological traumas

"Mud Stove" lady's house.
Directions were "out the gate, where the ladies live"...

 Then it was off for a trek through the bush...first stop ACTED to find out where the "mud stove" lady lives.  She made mud stoves for them and I want one too!  Elizabeth went with me, saw them and said I will watch her and learn.  I will make my own....And that is the way it is supposed to work. :)

The lady in the blue gown will go to the river
, haul the mud and bring it and teach me
how to build the stove.
Cost? 20 SSP about $4 USD

Next stop...dinner at a real restarant!  YEAH!!!

Yes, this is where we ate...That is my friends Sam and Dr. Carlos.  That is the wood pile behind them and the kitchen behind the wood pile with the cooking pots lined up around the fence.  Boy it was good eating real meat again!

and a beautiful sunset to end the day...

good food, good friends and that!  What more can you ask for?  

God is good!!